A Divided Heart

But stay here one more night, and I will see if the Lord has anything else to say to me.” (Numbers 22:19 NASB)
There are times when the Lord allows us to walk in the error of our ways.  There is a battle between conviction and corruption that rages in a divided heart.
Balak, the King of Moab, had asked the prophet Balaam to go with him and curse Israel.  The Lord explicitly told Balaam that he was to not go with him (v. 12).  Balaam asks again for permission to go.  If the Lord says no, and we continue to ask Him, we are apparently trying to get the Him to change His mind. There was a battle going on between God’s will and Balaam’s.  Balaam was not willing to directly disobey God, but also did not want to obey Him completely.  Here we have a divided heart where conviction and corruption were engaging each other.  When we are Hell bent on doing it our way, sometimes, God lets us do it.  This is never good for us.  If you know Balaam’s story, God used a donkey to bring pain into his life.  At times the only way that God can get through to us is by teaching us in the school of hard knocks.  In Balaam’s case, it was all self-inflicted.
My dear brothers and sisters, I have to admit that when God has had to send a donkey into my life to bring a measure of discomfort, I tend to respond a bit like Balaam did.  I blame the donkey and not myself.  Corruption is raising its ugly head and winning over conviction, blurring my perception of the dilemma.   What is the solution?  Chose conviction over corruption, which usually requires some humility.

Image used with permission by Microsoft.

Ken Barnes the author of “The Chicken Farm and Other Sacred Places”  YWAM Publishing

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